One of the questions I’m frequently asked by women struggling to get back with an ex boyfriend is how do I actually avoid him during the no contact period? On the surface it seems relatively easy to go a week or two without talking with your ex but in reality it’s almost impossible.
The best way I can explain this to you is to relate to you a story about myself when I was trying desperately to do no contact with my ex boyfriend. We had a very difficult telephone conversation and although he never actually broke up with me – he disappeared off my radar. He stopped calling and texting me and at first I just decided that he was doing it because he needed some time to cool down after our heated telephone call. But then a day and two and three passed and I still hadn’t heard from him. I decided to go looking for him online and soon realized that he was perfectly fine. The man was busy posting up a storm on facebook and twitter all while I struggled with not talking to him. I couldn’t take it so I broke down and called him while I was very upset. He didn’t answer and I left a tearful message. I waited for him to call me back and after a few hours of silence, I finally texted him. He finally called me then and he was distant, indifferent and cold. Within a minute of him answering I realized I had made a horrible mistake. I had given him all the power again – he knew I was desperate to be with him and that gave him all the control in our breakup.
You must do whatever you can to avoid your ex boyfriend for at least two weeks after the break up. This is a MUST –it’s non-negotiable.
Here are a few suggestions that will help you get through this very emotional time:
Ask a close friend to be your break up buddy. Call that person whenever you have the urge to speak to your ex. They can help talk you down and help you see that distance is really your best ally at this point.
Take a trip and get away from everything. If you’ve been saving up vacation time now is the ideal time to get away. Maybe you’ve wanted to visit a family member or a friend in another city or perhaps you’ve been aching to spend a week at the beach. Make some travel plans and do it as soon as possible. The change of scenery is really going to help you avoid your ex and all those triggers that make you long to be with him again.
Volunteer with a needy cause in your city or neighbourhood. Helping others is a fantastic way to push your own troubles aside. If you can do something that is going to enrich the life of another human being you should do that now. It’s going to not only help you keep your mind off your ex but it will also help you to see that others struggle with serious issues also. It’s a great way to appreciate all the gifts that you do have.
Jot down everything about your ex that bothered or irritated you. This may seem counterproductive when you are intent on getting him back but it’s a great way to avoid him during the all important no contact period. If you can glance at a list of his less appealing traits you’re going to feel much less inclined to reach out to him. So whenever the urge to call or text him pops up, look at the list and you’ll realize that he’s not as perfect as you imagine him to be.
Remove his contact information from your phone. This may seem like a useless step but it’s actually more about blocking him from your life for a period of time than it is about actually forgetting his phone number. You probably have your ex boyfriend’s number memorized and therefore simply deleting the number from your phone seems silly. But it will help you to maintain no contact because you won’t see him name each and every time you scroll through your address book looking for a number.
Ensuring that you don’t contact your ex is essential when it comes to getting him back. By using a few of these tips you’ll find that the process is much easier and by the time you feel a strong desire to call him again, he’ll likely already be trying to reach you.
Never forget that the way to a man’s heart is through his mind. Unless your ex boyfriend has the opportunity to miss you, he won’t understand how much he truly needs you in his life. Give him the chance to wish you were his again. If you can do that, getting him back becomes that much simpler.