Your ex boyfriend just dropped a bombshell on you. You feel as though your entire world has fallen apart. The man you loved and have been devoted to just announced that he never loved you. Your head is spinning, your heart is beating out of control and you feel overcome with a sick feeling. How could this be true? What about all those times he told you that you meant everything to him? Was he lying? Was he just using you and why has he suddenly decided that now is the right time to tell you that his feelings weren’t real? It’s a lot to absorb and there are no easy answers but luckily there is some insight that will help you better understand why some men say this and what it truly means in terms of your past relationship and whether there is still a chance for you two to rebuild the emotional bond you once had.
If he told you that he loved you when you two were involved, that is most likely the truth. Most men aren’t all that comfortable proclaiming love to a woman so when it happens, you can take comfort in knowing that it’s honest, real and coming directly from his heart.
What happens after a break up is very different. We don’t always recognize that men also go through a whole host of difficult emotions when their relationship ends (even if they were the one who did the breaking up.) As part of their inner process to move past the pain, they may try and convince themselves that they didn’t love their ex girlfriend as much as they claimed to. Obviously, if you’re the ex girlfriend in question, this is going to sting. You begin to feel worthless, used and you question whether wanting a man back who says these things is the best for you.
Give it some time. He’s reeling from the emotional pain he’s in and he’s saying whatever he needs to say to make himself feel better. Although it’s virtually impossible not to take his words personally, you have to really consider where they are coming from. He’s feeling broken and vulnerable and is doing what he can to rid himself of that pain.
Don’t take on the stance of being confrontational when he says he never loved you. Don’t pull out all the old text messages you saved when he said he loved you and don’t push a greeting card in his face that he signed with an I love you. He knows what he’s said in the past. You don’t want to aggravate the situation by trying to prove a point.
Just remember that if the man says he loved you at one time, chances are very good that he did. Pain makes us say things we don’t always mean. Give your ex boyfriend the benefit of the doubt.
If you’re tired of waiting for him to fall back in love, watch this video. It’s going to give you some insight into where his heart and mind is right now and what you can do to pull him back.