3 Tips to Help Get Your Ex Boyfriend Back

women with broken heartHi. My name’s Gillian and let me start off by saying I’m sorry that you’ve found your way to my site today. Sorry because it means that you’re dealing with a break up. Well, you’ve definitely come to the right place. Not only have I gone through a very painful break up or two in my past (I’m happily married to one of my ex boyfriends now ) but I’m also a skilled relationship advisor who is ready, willing and eager to help you.

I’ve been in the place you are now. I know how hard it is to think of anything but your ex boyfriend and how to win back the man. You can’t sleep, you struggle to focus on your work and you replay the last moments of your relationship over and over again in your mind.

Before we go any further you need to ask yourself whether you’re certain you want the man back or whether you’re just feeling lonely and afraid. Be honest – don’t jump back into something just because you’re scared of being alone. If you truly miss him deeply, then read on and find out the three tips you need to follow in order to win back your ex boyfriend starting today!

Tip # 1. Pull yourself together! As much as it feels as though your world has come to a screeching halt since the split, it really hasn’t. Time is missing ex boyfriendstill going to move forward and you’re still going to have to face each day as it comes. Your friends are still there for you, your family is there to support you and your responsibilities need tending. If you can shift some of your focus from your ex boyfriend unto yourself and your own needs, you’re going to be ahead of the game. You have to pull yourself together emotionally if you have any chance of picking up the broken pieces of your relationship and putting it back together again. Don’t lose sight of the fact that you’re vibrant, desirable and interesting. Pick yourself up and move forward, beginning today. You’ll feel better if you’re in control of yourself again. A bit of time with friends, a hike or even a new project at work can all help you see that you’re valuable, worthwhile and someone any man would love to have in his life.

Tip #2. Stop living in the past. Despite the fact that you think non-stop about the end of your relationship, you can’t change it at this point. Whatever transpired between you and your ex and whatever you two said to one another, can’t be erased. That’s simply not the way the universe works. You can make a new beginning for yourself, and in turn for you and your boyfriend, but you have to start with putting the past behind you. As difficult as it is to not wish things were different, each moment that you focus on the broken bond between you two, is a wasted moment of your life. Look at a reunion as a new beginning and start focusing on that instead. Don’t become obsessed with those thoughts though as that won’t prove helpful. Instead, know within that you made mistakes, that you’re now more mature and aware of what is required to make a relationship work and that you’re ready to share that insight with your boyfriend when the time is right.

Tip #3. Be a great friend to your ex boyfriend. Probably the last thing you want at this point is to be just a friend to your ex. That’s not how you envision a future with him, is it? Getting back together after a serious break up generally takes several steps, including building a new bond with your lost partner. Although many men will gladly jump back into a romantic relationship with their ex girlfriend right away, many won’t. If your ex isn’t ready for anything too serious, it’s vital that you don’t push him before he gives you the indication that he wants more. The ideal way to stay connected to him is to forge ahead with a platonic friendship. The reason this can be so helpful is actually very simple. If you show your ex that you want to be a part of his life, even if that means being “just friends” with him he’ll see you as someone who is genuinely looking out for his best interests and isn’t necessarily trying to win him back. Eventually, he’ll start to view you in the same light as he has in the past and all those qualities that drew him to you in the first place will start pulling at his heartstrings again.

Love the second time around can be much more fulfilling and satisfying than the first. The two of you will be more mature and more importantly, you’ll be more aware of what you can do to fulfill the needs of your ex, just as he’ll be better qualified to fulfill what your heart needs too. 

Check out some great advice from Ashley Kay in the video below!

 

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7 Comments on 3 Tips to Help Get Your Ex Boyfriend Back

  1. rosida
    August 7, 2013 at 10:52 pm (5 years ago)

    HI My Name is rosida, i was married to this man called macaulay we were together for 7yrs and we loved our self’s but when i was unable to give him a child, he left me and told me he can’t continue anymore. Ever since then I’av been looking for ways to get him back. Help me please.

    • Gillian Reynolds
      August 9, 2013 at 4:55 pm (5 years ago)

      Hi Rosida – I’m sorry to hear that you have to deal with such a difficult and emotional situation. It’s disheartening to hear that this man you loved left you because you couldn’t produce a child. That’s not the basis for any type of a healthy relationship. Before you try and get your ex to come back, think about how you two are going to deal with the issue at hand. If you can’t have children and he’s intent on becoming a father you two need to find a solution for that before you reunite. Perhaps you should consider seeking out counselling? It would be best if he attended with you. Good luck!

  2. Michelle Hilbert
    August 12, 2013 at 2:01 am (5 years ago)

    My ex and I broke up a few weeks . After 2 years and 6 months in the relationship he suddenly changed his mind about us. He started texting other girls which he said was his friends he even had pictures of them on his phone. I didn’t like that at all because I saw that these girls are starting to like him. So basically it was my fault he broke up with me for being insecure, clingy and not trusting him. He told me he doesn’t want to be in a serious relationship right now but he still loves me. He wants to explore life without a girlfriend and not wanting to hurt me when he meet up with new girls and such. I really do love him with all my heart, and maybe he just needs some space to think, or maybe our relationship got a bit boring. I am so willing to follow these steps to get him back, I’m so not going to lose him to a bunch of girls!

    • Gillian Reynolds
      August 12, 2013 at 2:30 am (5 years ago)

      Hi Michelle – It’s completely understandable why you’d be upset when you see him texting and interacting with other women. If you two were in an exclusive relationship, he was definitely out of line if he was flirting with others. Don’t be too quick to label yourself as insecure and clingy. You loved your ex boyfriend and you felt threatened by all of the attention the other women were giving him. If he doesn’t want to be in a serious relationship right now, there’s little you can do to change his mind. Give him the space he needs and use that time to take care of yourself and decide exactly what you need. Often, when a couple has been together for some time and they decide to part ways, they both quickly realize how much they miss their former partner. If you can find the strength to ignore your ex boyfriend for at least a few weeks, you may find that he’s crawling back begging you to give him another chance. Good luck!

  3. Vanesa Iglesias
    August 12, 2013 at 2:11 am (5 years ago)

    This is a great article. Thank you. It made me feel a lot better. I broke up with my boyfriend 3 months ago and I started seeing someone else right away. Maybe that was a bad idea, because he really was just a “bandaid” and it ended up being an explosive disaster pretty quickly. After that I’ve been feeling incredibly depressed and desperately missing my ex. He was not just my ex but he was also my best friend.

    • Gillian Reynolds
      August 13, 2013 at 8:46 pm (5 years ago)

      Hi Vanessa – It’s very common for many women to jump into another relationship after their break up. As you described it so eloquently – it’s truly a band-aid, and at best, a temporary way to relieve all of the emotional pain you’re experiencing. Men can often let their egos guide them and if your ex boyfriend knows that you started seeing someone else so quickly it may make him a bit more wary of getting back together. Since you still have such strong feelings for your ex, it’s best to not date anyone else at least for the time being. Try to work on establishing a friendship with your ex boyfriend. That may be the best path you need to take at this point to reconnect emotionally with him.

  4. Mary Ghorayeb
    August 12, 2013 at 2:19 am (5 years ago)

    I’m hoping I can put a lot of these tips into good use. My ex and I broke up about 3 weeks ago. The break-up really taught me that I need to change certain parts about myself for the better. However, as time goes by it’s more and more difficult for me to forget him.